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  • Digital Uniforms

    $20.00 – $100.00

    I upgraded to the new digital uniform.

    Select optionsDone This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  • Four-Letter General

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Edward Cranston, four-letter general.

    Select optionsDone This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  • Palindrone

    $20.00 – $100.00

    We call it “The Palindrone.” Another failed weapons project by the U.S. government.

    Select optionsDone This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page

  • QR Code Patch

    $20.00 – $100.00

    After the last round of budget cuts the military gave us these QR code patches. You’ll have to scan it with your smartphone to see my uniform decorations.

    Select optionsDone This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page