Showing all 17 results

  • B-Negative Blood

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “The lab results came back … looks like your blood type is B-negative.”

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  • Bad Habits Patient

    $20.00 – $100.00

    If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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  • Bad Prognosis

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Quit being around the bush and just tell me how bad it is, doc!!!

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  • Breaking The Bad News

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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  • Double Shrink

    $20.00 – $100.00

     

    How frequently are you hallucinating, Mr. Jenkins?

    Good afternoon, Mr. Jenkins.

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  • Fist Bump Doctor

    $20.00 – $100.00

     

    I’m fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.

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  • Hamburger Helper

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Hamburger in therapy with Hamburger Helper.

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  • Imaginary Haters

    $20.00 – $100.00

    The imaginary people keep telling me that I’m crazy…

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  • Lost In The Electronic Shuffle

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Mr. Benton, I’m afraid your electronic health records, got lost in the electronic shuffle.

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  • Pharmaceutical Charity

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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  • Placebo Side Effects

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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  • Politician Truth Yoga

    $20.00 – $100.00

    No, senator, I’m afraid stretching the truth doesn’t count as yoga.

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  • Self-Induced Panic

    $20.00 – $100.00

    So I’m perfectly healthy? That’s good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?

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  • Sick Health App

    $20.00 – $100.00

     

    Looks like your app is a little under the weather. Go home and update it and let’s follow up next week.

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  • Side Effect Voices

    $20.00 – $100.00

    The voices from my prescription side effects say you should consider lowering the dosage.

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  • Telemedicine Triumph

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “Man, this telemedicine thing is great– I don’t even have to put my pants on!”

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  • Xanax Therapy

    $20.00 – $100.00

    You gotta help me, Doc! I keep seeing palindromes and it freaks me out!!!

    I’m gonna prescribe you Xanax.

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