Showing 1–20 of 28 results

  • 30 Day Diet

    $20.00 – $100.00

    I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days.

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  • Bad Habits Patient

    $20.00 – $100.00

    If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you’ll be in as good a shape as you’ve never been.

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  • Beer Medicine

    $20.00 – $100.00

    The specialist gave me this medicine for my hearing loss. He said two drops a day in my beer, but so far I haven’t noticed any improvements.

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  • Breaking The Bad News

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Well, I don’t know how to break the bad news to you Mr. Jenson, but …

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  • Cat X-Ray Update

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I think we need to do some updated x-rays – these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.”

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  • Caught Something Nasty

    $20.00 – $100.00

    A doctor says to his patient who is holding something in a catcher’s mitt, “Looks like you caught something nasty there.”

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  • Cough Syrup

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Cough! Cough! Cough!

    Cough! Cough!

    Where cough syrup comes from.

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  • Disco Fever

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Dr. Elwood prescribes 500mg of dancing for Barry’s disco fever.

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  • Doctor Handwriting Encryption

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Don’t worry- Your patients’ electronic records will be safe across your network. I’m using an encryption based on doctor handwriting legibility.

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  • Explosive Data Security

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files.

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  • Extra Nipples Side Effects

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I’ve heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.”

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  • Flu Bonanza

    $20.00 – $100.00

    A doctor says to his patient who has a pig snout, wings, and cow patterns on him, “You’ve managed to catch bird flu, swine flu, and a touch of Mad Cow disease.”

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  • Hypochondria Health Records

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Sorry I’m late, I had to retrieve your health records.

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  • Lost In The Electronic Shuffle

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Mr. Benton, I’m afraid your electronic health records, got lost in the electronic shuffle.

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  • Medical Privacy Publicity

    $20.00 – $100.00

    I appreciate how you’ve protected my privacy, Doc. I’m gonna tell everybody about it on my medical rating website!

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  • MRI Tattoos

    $20.00 – $100.00

    The MRI machine won’t degrade my tattoos, will it?

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  • Octopus Ink IV

    $20.00 – $100.00

    An octopus is hooked up to an ink IV in a hospital bed.

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  • Pharmaceutical Charity

    $20.00 – $100.00

    Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need.

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  • Picasso Plastic Surgery

    $20.00 – $100.00

     

    Person with rearranged face walking out of doctor’s office. Sign above reads: Picasso Plastic Surgery.

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  • Placebo Side Effects

    $20.00 – $100.00

    “I’m not so much concerned with the side effects of the drug I gave you as I am with the fact that it’s a placebo.”

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